JCP001: procrastination cat procrastinates
FlavorCage77: hold on…
8:50 PM
FlavorCage77: brb
FlavorCage77: going to get smokes
JCP001: delicious. go forth my son and procure smokes
9:00 PM
FlavorCage77: You ready to do this or you have to do some duece droppin?
JCP001: oh, you’re back.
FlavorCage77: Yeah
FlavorCage77: On the SK
FlavorCage77: My internets just crapped out, sirs.
JCP001: welcome to my world. good thing you have back-up
FlavorCage77: Yeah…
FlavorCage77: You know what dogs I want to see more of? Puggles.
JCP001: do you?
FlavorCage77: Hell yes
JCP001: they grew on me
FlavorCage77: Yes
JCP001: i used to think they were horrible amalgamations
FlavorCage77: I think they’re strange and have a certain stupidity to them that makes them a bit endearing
FlavorCage77: Once you start cross breeding the brains get smaller
FlavorCage77: Or dumber
FlavorCage77: Cute little things, tho.
JCP001: does it work the same for humans?
FlavorCage77: Only if you breed an ape with a man.
FlavorCage77: that’s like “Shit, meet fan.”
JCP001: i think i ride the train with the ape-human hybrids
FlavorCage77: Yes you do…and they all listen to German techno REALLY LOUD.
JCP001: BAD RELIGION NEW MAPS OF HELL
JCP001: that means we can start
JCP001: once the title drops, it’s on
FlavorCage77: Ok…so FUCK YES comes to mind when listening to this
FlavorCage77: This record is a hybrid of a rottweiller and a german pincher
FlavorCage77: Me thinks
FlavorCage77: It’s finger pointingly awesome
JCP001: I was telling Lenny that this came at a good time for me
FlavorCage77: And at 38 minutes, there’s no room to be bored
FlavorCage77: Splain
JCP001: I’ve been on a BR kick. great for the gym
FlavorCage77: Really? Last time I hung out with you, you told me that ABBA has been on repeat
FlavorCage77: Kidding
JCP001: I’m glad this is no “The New America”. that record kinda blows
JCP001: how well versed are you in BR?
FlavorCage77: This record came at a great time for the world. His lyrics are so politically driven.
FlavorCage77: Not that well
FlavorCage77: Not as well as you
FlavorCage77: Joey Cingrana and I would listen to them in his attic all the time
JCP001: political, social. Graffin sings every word with conviction like he’s preaching. or teaching. he is a college professor, you know.
FlavorCage77: What makes the album so great is that each song is EPIC
JCP001: pretty much, yeah
FlavorCage77: Like… HUGE
JCP001: there’s always been something grand about BR for me.
FlavorCage77: standout track: SUBMISSION COMPLETE. It has a middle easternesque vibe
FlavorCage77: Especially the solo
FlavorCage77: And lets not forget the AWESOME harmonies
JCP001: the back-up punk choir. just the imagery the lyrics conjure overall is grand
FlavorCage77: Totally
JCP001: kings, empires falling, planets colliding, biblical references…
FlavorCage77: They’re the only band that can pull off a double bass drum without sounding like they just sprayed they’re hair with Tommy Lee brand hairspray
FlavorCage77: Or without sounding like bad nu metal
JCP001: they have 3 guitarists
JCP001: lead, rhythm and pick slide
JCP001: mostly you can’t tell since they all play the same 3 chords
FlavorCage77: I think John Lennon would love them if he were alive to hear it.
FlavorCage77: Oh…and the piano on FIELDS OF MARS….
FlavorCage77: I did not see that coming
JCP001: they’re not changing their formula though.
FlavorCage77: No…but they mastered their formula
FlavorCage77: They’ve gone the same route but it suits them.
FlavorCage77: And it gets me PSYCHED
FlavorCage77: The opening to NEW DARK AGES…it’s almost beautiful.
JCP001: psyched and confused. i googled the lyrics and had to look up a few words. punk rock that sharpens your mind
JCP001: and annoys the neighbors
FlavorCage77: That should be on the back of their t shirts, you genius.
FlavorCage77: I really have nothing bad to say about this record.
FlavorCage77: Should we talk about another album that blows?
JCP001: they already have the best band symbol ever
JCP001: i was hoping you’d bite at my pick slide jokes
FlavorCage77: That was pretty good…there’s a pick slide in like every song
JCP001: 2 sometimes
JCP001: together
FlavorCage77: They should have dueling pick slide solos.
FlavorCage77: Imagine how annoying that would be?
FlavorCage77: Dogs would die
FlavorCage77: But not the puggles .
FlavorCage77: They’d survive the great pick slide disaster of 2007 and rule the world with BAD RELIGION.
JCP001: their tiny brains wouldn’t know how to respond
FlavorCage77: They’d just start licking each others balls more
JCP001: maybe they scored cool satanic guitars when they explored and mapped hell
FlavorCage77: This is one theory
JCP001: a fine theory
FlavorCage77: What would satan have said to them?
FlavorCage77: Go forth and bring the pointed finger?
FlavorCage77: Millions of puggles at a BR show lifting their paws to the sky
JCP001: your backing vocals, may your choir of 6 sound like 60 strong
JCP001: did you see a puggle at the deli?
FlavorCage77: The fat one?
FlavorCage77: If so…yes
FlavorCage77: I think he had a BR tattoo
FlavorCage77: And he was practicing his string slides
_______________________________________________________________
JCP001: FlavorCage77:

_______________________________________________________________

Originally, this review was supposed to have been done between myself and Lenny. Due to technical difficulties (see: lack of internets) on both our parts it, sadly, wasn’t meant to be. Below is unfinished “review” or outtake, if you will. – JCP001

OneLastCigarette: just got home
JCP001: listen to the fathers of socal punk rock
OneLastCigarette: ill put it on
OneLastCigarette: yo i had a BONKERS connection before 675 kbps
OneLastCigarette: …and in other awesomeness
OneLastCigarette: i realized my sister has the new zelda
OneLastCigarette: goodbye daylight
JCP001: wii zelda?
OneLastCigarette: yeah
OneLastCigarette: but on gamecube
OneLastCigarette: same exact game
OneLastCigarette: just clashed with the wii release
JCP001: the wii turns grown men into prancing gaylords
OneLastCigarette: yeah totally
OneLastCigarette: i waited at the nintendo store in the freezing cold with andrew for it
JCP001: and you didn’t have to pee your pants
OneLastCigarette: it was a pretty relaxed atmosphere
OneLastCigarette: i’ll knock out a little kid
JCP001: me too
OneLastCigarette: no qualms
OneLastCigarette: there was this one big mongo dude and he kept trying to wifi ds with little kids
OneLastCigarette: im talking 24 yr old very special place type dude
JCP001: perv
OneLastCigarette: no i felt bad for him
OneLastCigarette: he was genuinely childlike
OneLastCigarette: aside from when he penetrated their little anai like pressboard
OneLastCigarette: anai sounds ten times worse than anuses
JCP001: anuses sounds like a great greek hero
OneLastCigarette: i wish this was the review
JCP001: if we do the review tonight it can be, lenny. It can be.
OneLastCigarette: what is a SIT file
OneLastCigarette: its a blank file for me
OneLastCigarette: open with winzip?
JCP001: yes
OneLastCigarette: ok
OneLastCigarette: its only giving me an option to ZIP this file
OneLastCigarette: wtf dude…
JCP001: aww
JCP001: one sec
OneLastCigarette: several secs later…
OneLastCigarette: just aim it over
OneLastCigarette: your server is mad booty
JCP001: going to
OneLastCigarette: it should send super fast if i plug it into the wall
OneLastCigarette: hold on
JCP001: plug it in son
OneLastCigarette: ran out of tp, don’t use my dermalogica whipes
OneLastCigarette: you do the math
OneLastCigarette: hold on
JCP001: crikey
OneLastCigarette: leaves your crack silky smooth with no blemishes or dead skin
JCP001: ready?
OneLastCigarette: as ill ever be
OneLastCigarette: fast as shit
JCP001: did you get it all?
OneLastCigarette: no
OneLastCigarette: says 95
OneLastCigarette: almost done
OneLastCigarette: you have a fucking status bar right
JCP001: yeah
JCP001: thought i accidentally canceled it
OneLastCigarette: everybody is a bastard
JCP001: it’s true
JCP001: that has a big part
JCP001: this record came at a good time for me
OneLastCigarette: why? are you starting a revolution
OneLastCigarette: i love that i turn around, do half a thing in zelda and the records half over
OneLastCigarette: 16 songs, 38.4 minutes, 36.9 mb
JCP001: that’s about average for a br record
OneLastCigarette: can you excuse me while i use my hawk to snatch this baby basket from a dancing monkey so i can get my god damn fishing pole, lure back the shop ladies cat and make her happy enough to give me the new slingshot
JCP001: you make it sound cool. but it’s not. i’ve seen paul play
JCP001: it’s quite gay
OneLastCigarette: it starts off slow
OneLastCigarette: its awesome
OneLastCigarette: youre just a final fantasy fag
JCP001: herd those sheep…. things
OneLastCigarette: thats like the first thing
OneLastCigarette: go check paul’s steez now. he has a black tunic and some sick fucking sword skills soon i bet
JCP001: know what–listen more and play. call your gay hawk friend maybe he can snatch someone elses balls and give them to you
OneLastCigarette: scum bag
OneLastCigarette: not a kind word
JCP001: c’mon, you laughed a little
OneLastCigarette: of course i laughed
OneLastCigarette: thats why we keep you around
OneLastCigarette: amusing abuse
OneLastCigarette: whatever i got the basket
JCP001: are there cojones in there?
JCP001: when you’re done catching rainbows in fairyland, IM me