OneLastCigarette: if you think im listening to this more than once youre fucking nuts
OneLastCigarette: so today at the show paul bruno asked “have people been sending in their records?”
OneLastCigarette: and im like no were dicks, we didnt get that set up yet
JCP001: and you said…?
OneLastCigarette: thats what i said
JCP001: sorry
JCP001: started typing before i saw your response
JCP001: survivorman was drinking his own pee. got distacted. new season
OneLastCigarette: its good to be back
OneLastCigarette: who would be better on that show chuck norris or jack bauer
JCP001: bauer. survivorman would have a hard time keeping up
OneLastCigarette: track 6 – kiss. i didnt think this record would hit a new horrible low mid-way
OneLastCigarette: oh and KORN UNTITLED
OneLastCigarette: broadcast live from my one and only listen
JCP001: we’re actually doing this? I listened to half of the record and realized that there was a reason why i never listened to korn in the first place.
JCP001: i figured we could do spoon and put the shit storm of korn behind us
OneLastCigarette: yeah i wanna be a hack asshole, lets do spoon.
OneLastCigarette: can we move along
JCP001: but i do want to mention head just so we could link to him
JCP001: thank you
OneLastCigarette: google: head jesus korn
OneLastCigarette: im not doing spoon
OneLastCigarette: i was being sarcastic
OneLastCigarette: stop resisting
OneLastCigarette: what kind of welcome back is this
JCP001: just listening to korn is embarrassing. I’ll have to play it on my head phones
JCP001: when i listened to the first few songs on the train i felt like people knew i was listening to korn. might have been the look of disgust on my face
OneLastCigarette: so we have nothing. cause i dont even know what to say about this atrocity
OneLastCigarette: you always look like that
JCP001: since i like to read the fan reviews on iTunes, apparently they “changed their sound”
OneLastCigarette: track 8 – ever be. blatant led zeppelin rip off
JCP001: still sounds like nu-metal. and they all still look like coolio except the drummer.
OneLastCigarette: saw ted leo and the thermals today
OneLastCigarette: the thermals were really fuckin good
OneLastCigarette: surprised me
OneLastCigarette: ted leo did that whole ted leo thing again
JCP001: something about the thermals irks me
JCP001: that’s what you get for hanging with music jerks
OneLastCigarette: the night after i hurled at martini when i woke up in my bed i didnt know where i was
OneLastCigarette: little “cross promotion” there
OneLastCigarette: whoever saw me puking, this is for you
OneLastCigarette: or saw me layed out on terrence’s trunk
OneLastCigarette: who ironically left his car there because he was too wasted
JCP001: sounds like a hoot, you gross bastard
OneLastCigarette: no i was actually very elegant about it
OneLastCigarette: nobody actually saw me vom
OneLastCigarette: so any stand out terribleness in this album?
OneLastCigarette: ill call tracks 1-13 as the most terrible songs on the album in no particular order
JCP001: the lyrics are awful
JCP001: he’s writing angst ridden songs for teenagers in big stupid pants. they still exist. i’ve seen them
OneLastCigarette: you lie
JCP001: on the streets like they teleported from 1998
JCP001: with white guy braids
OneLastCigarette: the beard braid
OneLastCigarette: with a bead
JCP001: so wait, their last record flopped?
OneLastCigarette: this invokes rammstein and coal chamber and all other sorts of terrible
OneLastCigarette: do you know what its called?
OneLastCigarette: cause i dont
OneLastCigarette: when that guy head finds jesus theres no way he’ll forgive him for all the terrible records hes already made
JCP001: nope. unforgivable. and i’m so disinterested I’m not even going to research it
JCP001: korn. bad call
OneLastCigarette: your idea, for the record
JCP001: i was hoping you wouldn’t point that out, dick, but i also knew you would because you’re a dick.
OneLastCigarette: well im not exactly overflowing with material here. give me a break
OneLastCigarette: im really scraping the barrell
JCP001: i’ve still been working over that spoon record
OneLastCigarette: i chewed all the flavor out of it to be honest
JCP001: then i started working through old spoon.
JCP001: they pretty much have a flawless catalog
OneLastCigarette: it was argued by aforementioned music jerks that they were the most consistent band of the 00’s
OneLastCigarette: or the past few years
OneLastCigarette: or some shit
OneLastCigarette: along with the white stripes
OneLastCigarette: i was really high i dont remember any more
JCP001: was there a vote taken before they kicked the disagreeing music geek off nerd island?
OneLastCigarette: korn. what a horrible album
JCP001: so horrible they couldn’t even title the piece of shit.
OneLastCigarette: im putting on spoon
OneLastCigarette: i think ill get some chicken broccoli for dinner
JCP001: zero all around.
OneLastCigarette: i give this one empty look of disgust
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JCP001:
OneLastCigarette:
3 comments
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August 14, 2007 at 10:22 am
dnice
I saw you puke Lenny. You were leaning against the side of the building.
August 14, 2007 at 11:20 am
OneLastCigarette
You were my knightress in shining hair.
August 14, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Ben Johnson
Full disclosure: I was on a school bus, like on a JV soccer trip freshmen year of high school, and somebody played me that vocal percussion breakdown that the singer of Korn did off that big record that everybody except me seemed to own, and it impressed me. It was on that song “Freak on a Leash” or whatever. I was like, “how does he do this shit? it sounds so coooool.”
But then I listened to the rest of the song again, and It was over. I could tell the guy didn’t really believe his own shtick. Also, the kids at my school who copied what I like to call the “Korn aesthetic,” the baggy cargos with lots of metal on them, the Korn t-shirts and the greasy long hair? Those kids were total chumps. Wors than say, members of the JV soccer team who didn’t have their own discman.