8:07 PM
OneLastCigarette: im free
JCP001: so?
OneLastCigarette: what the fuck do you mean so
OneLastCigarette: dont start with me buffter poindexter
OneLastCigarette: are you ready
JCP001: okay fucker. i just kicked a cat across the room. i’m fightin’ ready
8:10 PM
OneLastCigarette: dante or rolo?
JCP001: dante. he deserved it. if not now then he’d have earned it in the future
JCP001: your response time is lacking.
OneLastCigarette has gone offline.
8:15 PM
OneLastCigarette is now online.
8:20 PM
JCP001: your internet is free apparently
OneLastCigarette: snitches get stitches, bitch
OneLastCigarette: can we get on with this
JCP001: KENYE WEST GRADUATION
8:25 PM
OneLastCigarette: who’s kenye west?
OneLastCigarette: KANYE WEST GRADUATION
JCP001: i’ve been fucking like that up all day. we’ll get the misspellers that way now.
OneLastCigarette: some kid named bart in pennsylvania is gonna be called “fart” by his teammates for the rest of his little league career
OneLastCigarette: i hope youre proud
JCP001: he’ll learn to accept it
JCP001: i haven’t listened to this for a few days
OneLastCigarette: ive done my best not to kill it
OneLastCigarette: so at first i thought he fell short, but it turns out this is just a grower
JCP001: oh hell yes
OneLastCigarette: it hasnt stopped growing yet either
JCP001: even “champion” grew on me and that has an annoying sample
JCP001: i’m glad he toned that down.
OneLastCigarette: i knew you would get past that
JCP001: also glad he didn’t do skits
JCP001: i hate me some skits
OneLastCigarette: yeah, nobody liked the skits
OneLastCigarette: toned what down?
JCP001: shut the fuck up, you’re not an actor of comedian.
OneLastCigarette: sampling?
JCP001: toned down his record of annoying samples
OneLastCigarette: yeah but they had bernie mac. hes an actor AND a comedian
OneLastCigarette: albeit an annoying stereotypical one
JCP001: i was trying to count how many times he says louis vuitton but I gave up
JCP001: that’s like counting the body count on 24. i picked the wrong season to try to guesstimate that one
OneLastCigarette: did you see the macfarlane bauer?
OneLastCigarette: oh my god, its exquisite
JCP001: it’s great
OneLastCigarette: and the companion books
JCP001: he has crates to duck behind
OneLastCigarette: to clarify the mush of seasonal happenings in your brain
OneLastCigarette: and the bag. i love the bag
OneLastCigarette: i think we’ve strayed quite far enough
OneLastCigarette: anyway
OneLastCigarette: apparently… kanye threw a temper tantrum at the VMAs over not winning
OneLastCigarette: its on youtube
JCP001: it’s great
JCP001: I’m listening to flashing lights
OneLastCigarette: brb phone
JCP001: “…til i got flashed by the paparazzi. damn. these niggas got me. i hate these niggas more than nazis” think on that.
JCP001: hang up. you’re “free” lets go. clock’s ticking, lover boy
OneLastCigarette: hold on cock
JCP001: while lenny is away i will take this opportunity to plug my friend’s band because i can.
OneLastCigarette: dude
JCP001: are you free again?
OneLastCigarette: the glory is my favorite song on this record
OneLastCigarette: he has that fiery intensity in his flow that he kind of left at home on this run
8:45 PM
OneLastCigarette: “can i talk my shit again, even if i dont hit again?”
JCP001: but the songs and beats are still strong
OneLastCigarette: yeah totally
OneLastCigarette: im taking absolutely nothing away form this album
JCP001: i even like the chris martin song until he overstays his welcome for the last minute of the song
OneLastCigarette: ive heard varying criticism of that song, i think its a certified banger
OneLastCigarette: front to back
JCP001: did you hear the bonus tracks?
JCP001: it is. i could do without the last 30 seconds of him yodelling though
OneLastCigarette: i was gonna quote him again, but we would just be sitting here typing every lyric on the record if we tried to repeat all the memorable lines
JCP001:
OneLastCigarette: GRAY AREA
OneLastCigarette: i have the japanese import version
JCP001: did you hear the bonus tracks
OneLastCigarette: my last two tracks are goodnight and bittersweet
OneLastCigarette: i dont think so. did you hear the songs i just mentioned?
JCP001: those are good too
JCP001: yes
OneLastCigarette: i guess youll have to fly solo on those two tracks
OneLastCigarette: go
JCP001: i have a remix of can’t tell me nothin which has different lyrics which is cool. like a fresh new song
JCP001: who won the “feud?”
8:50 PM
OneLastCigarette: as of a couple of days ago kanye was projected as many as 200,000 units ahead of 50
OneLastCigarette: 50 recanted his career ending bet a while ago
JCP001: puss
JCP001: at least take it like a man
JCP001: don’t start nothing you can’t finish
OneLastCigarette: i have something to say
OneLastCigarette: i think drunk and hot girls is a great song
OneLastCigarette: and i dont care what anybody says
JCP001: i like it too now. like you said it’s a grower
OneLastCigarette: one thing about this record that will never ever be ok
OneLastCigarette: and i think this is a unanimous decision
JCP001: what’s that?
OneLastCigarette: big brother is so awkward and bad
JCP001: kinda yeah…
JCP001: but people will tell him it great because it’s about jigga
OneLastCigarette: lil wayne is one of my favorite rappers ever. im really happy he holds the only guest mc spot on this
OneLastCigarette has gone offline.
OneLastCigarette is now online.
OneLastCigarette: wrap this shit up. my ride is almost here
OneLastCigarette: final thoughts?
JCP001: nah. 4
OneLastCigarette: “dog is you fuckin kiddin?”
OneLastCigarette: 5. and i would give it a 6 if i could.
OneLastCigarette: yeah
OneLastCigarette: let me get your other hand
OneLastCigarette: this gets a 10
OneLastCigarette: im out
JCP001: “…you got Ds, mothafucker, Ds, Rosie Perez”
9:00 PM
JCP001: shit like that makes it for me
OneLastCigarette: “im like the fly malcom x. buy any jeans necessary” he’s got punch lines for days
JCP001: know what? i’m throwin’ up a full five for Ye
OneLastCigarette: Yeezy
JCP001: “keep makin’ that platinum and gold for me”
OneLastCigarette: unpresidented ladies and gentlemen
OneLastCigarette: i changed whitey’s mind
JCP001: no. the fact that i’ve been spitting his dumb shit for days did
JCP001: my will. it is strong
OneLastCigarette: whatever you want, princess. im gone for real this time.
_______________________________________________________________
JCP001: OneLastCigarette:

Ed. note: No cats were harmed during this review.