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Due to a lack of internet connection the part of OneLastCigarette will be played by SaulGood until further notice. We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you.

SaulGood: dude..i know you’re busy but there’s a show on VH1 called PROJECT MAN BAND
SaulGood: i think we can sue
JCP001: wtf is project man band?
SaulGood: they took all these former boy band members and formed a band hoping that “lighting will strike twice”
SaulGood: i think it struck the first time but i missed it.
JCP001: who’s on it?
SaulGood: not sure. all those dudes look the same.
JCP001: and you say you don’t need cable
SaulGood: i think that’s enough reason not to want cable.
SaulGood: though, ROCK OF LOVE is retarded enough to be fascinated with…on a mentally challenged kind of level.
JCP001: wtf is that?
SaulGood: it’s a Brett Michaels reality show
SaulGood: he pretty much makes out with semi hot girls the entire time
JCP001: if it’s not the shield, heroes, 24, or battlestar galactica… i hate reality shows.
SaulGood: i thought battlestar galactica was a reality show?
JCP001: it is.
JCP001: the 12 colonies will make it to earth… someday
SaulGood: and when they do you will be waving the nerd flag high.
JCP001: fuck yeah dude. I wanna hang with bill adama and drink with surly colonel tigh
SaulGood: bring back Buck Rodgers, I say.
SaulGood: and what about Twinkie? Twiggy? What the fuck was that robots name? He was awesome. (Ed. note: Twiki –JCP001)
SaulGood: Hey, do you know they used MATTEL TOYS as props for most of those shows?
SaulGood: I have one called COMPUTER PERFECTION that they used on BUCK RODGERS. this most likely explains why I am single.
JCP001: they looked like toys too. godzilla movies had better effects
SaulGood: GODZILLA vs.MOTHRA had the best effects.
SaulGood: remember the weird singing twins from that movie?
SaulGood: i think they gave me my first chubby.
JCP001: they’re called the cosmos
SaulGood: how do you know all this shit??? and why do you get more ass than i do knowing all this stuff???
JCP001: chalk it up to my boyish charm and good looks.
JCP001: i’d rather hear the cosmos sing their mothra song than listen to Paul Banks anymore
SaulGood: INTERPOL OUR LOVE TO ADMIRE
JCP001: excited you got to drop the title? you were waiting for it, weren’t you?
SaulGood: hell yeah. I think i just got my second chubby
SaulGood: I love this album
JCP001: i’ve never been a huge interpol fan.
JCP001: i remember dnice played some of their first record for me
JCP001: she was like, “they sound like joy division”
JCP001: which would be great if i liked joy division
SaulGood: they sound nothing like joy division.
JCP001: just the robot-like vocals
JCP001: neither of these dudes have/had any type of vocal range
SaulGood: Yeah…he’s more HAL than Johnny 5
SaulGood: They have the best rhythm section in NYC, imho.
SaulGood: which DOES NOT shine through on this record
SaulGood: everyone is touting it as their OK COMPUTER. Funny they should say that since the band is now on Capitol.
JCP001: who said that? R’tard Monthly?
SaulGood: I think some wanker on some blog. I wonder who in the styling department told Carlos D. to grow that stache.
SaulGood: were they like,”Dude…grow a SGT. PEPPERS stache. It’ll make the record that much more important”
JCP001: they look like vampires with their black suits and slick hair
SaulGood: Yeah, but they need a NOSFERATU looking dude to round out their goth appeal.
SaulGood: I love his lyrics. Hal Banks is a great writer
JCP001: the songs themselves are actually good. i just hate the vocals. it just sounds like droning noise to me. kinda like an electric razor.
SaulGood: At points it sounds like he goes for emotion but it ends up executed like a wet fart.
JCP001: because he’s vulcan. emotionless
SaulGood: Imagine if they have to accept an award? He probably sounds like stephen hawking
JCP001: i’d rather hawking sing
JCP001: hell, a speak and spell would be better
SaulGood: He should form a band with Paul Banks.
JCP001: he could rig up computers to his wheelchair and have a whole pet shop boys thing going.
SaulGood: i think Carlos D’s moustache should form a side project with one of the guys from Kings of Leon’s moustache
JCP001: oh god. i just found a pic. he looks like a queer pirate with a moustache. wow.
SaulGood: yeah…i prefer the younger version of Mr. D.
SaulGood: oh man…is he wearing a BOLO tie???
JCP001: it’s awful
SaulGood: holy shit, dude. he took the wrong kinda drugs
SaulGood: All moustaches aside, MAMMOTH is a standout track
JCP001: that is the only song I 100% like
SaulGood: I love PIONEER TO THE FALLS, the opener. It creates a really great tone for the album.
SaulGood: And it’s got that 3 songs in one vibe.
JCP001: the vocals turn me off so much they’re all i could focus on.
JCP001: the rhythm section is good, minus the ‘stache
JCP001: the cylons would not approve of his stache
SaulGood: brb
SaulGood: my cat’s puking
JCP001: yum. cleaning cat puke is fun
SaulGood: sorry dude
SaulGood: twas a mighty pile of puke
SaulGood: the cyclons would approve of the vocals, tho
SaulGood: “We will spare you Paul Banks.”
JCP001: they’d approve only of banks because he’s a robot too
JCP001: they get a 2. one for mammoth, one for banks being a cylon. don’t tell adama. i’ll get shot for treason
SaulGood: “I AM PAUL BANKS. VERSION 1200”
SaulGood: “I AM HERE TO FUCK YOUR WOMEN AND WRITE WELL THOUGHT OUT LYRICS.”
SaulGood: 2? Damn, J. You’re off your streak of 5’s
SaulGood: I give them 4…an added finger for the Album graphics
SaulGood: photos of animals are funny,
JCP001: i’d rather a real action shot than one taken at the museum of natural history.
SaulGood: An action shot of a cylon blowing Carlos’ moustache off with a laser?
SaulGood: THAT would be hot.
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SaulGood: I can has review?
JCP001: oh hai.
JCP001: i was blurbing with tim duffy. he was doin it wrong
SaulGood: Oh hai! I has done the showerz. We can haz review
SaulGood: Lots of peeps have been doin it wrong these days
SaulGood: Which brings me to the YYYs
JCP001: whoa whoa
JCP001: buy me dinner first, romeo
JCP001: YEAH YEAH YEAHS IS IS EP
SaulGood: What do you want? IM foreplay? Lets bang this out like cats in heat
SaulGood: Let me tell you a tale my son. One of a young Saul Good on the train listening to the new IS IS ep.
JCP001: of woe and heartbreak?
SaulGood: The only woe and heartbreak I had was listening to this
SaulGood: What happened to them?
SaulGood: I was like…NO NO NO
JCP001: when was the last time you listened to them?
SaulGood: I listened to the first album yesterday. I love that record
JCP001: for some reason i don’t think you keep up with a lot of current bands
JCP001: and the second?
SaulGood: the second was OK. But still fell a little flat for me. You?
JCP001: i like them both
JCP001: show your bones more actually. I think IS IS is reminiscent of both
SaulGood: Don’t get me wrong, the tunes on the new EP…they rock a bit and are sexified, but…I really found myself drifting off during the tunes and thinking of monkeys
SaulGood: Monkeys eating bugs off each other
SaulGood: And then throwing feces at passerbys
SaulGood: Then the monkeys eventually formed their own society and wrote interesting albums
JCP001: i enjoy this ep.
SaulGood: I enjoyed it most when this guy got on the train and was playing saxaphone…it cut into the song DOWN BOY and created this weird texture that was missing for me on the tunes
SaulGood: They’re sticking to a formula and are stuck. Her voice is awesome, tho.
JCP001: totally good and interesting. karen o‘s becoming more of a performance artist
JCP001: and stop saying “tunes”!
SaulGood: Like the kind of performance artist that makes BUTTER PAINTINGS on naked belly dancers?
SaulGood: Tunes tunes tunes tunes
SaulGood: Tommy tune
SaulGood: Two tone tunes
SaulGood: Cartunes
SaulGood: What about tunes with a z?
JCP001: how about you lick my ballz?
SaulGood: How about you eat my NUTZ?
SaulGood: Or lick my scrotumz
JCP001: so what’s the difference between this and fever to tell?
SaulGood: Fever To Tell was more raw and interesting. The songs had peaks and grooves.
JCP001: there’s peakz and groovez to these “tunez.”
SaulGood: This one sounds like salami on dry bread
SaulGood: I wanted something different from them. This sounds like a stale Fever To Tell
SaulGood: Meh. I was bored, especially that first jam
SaulGood: ROCKERS TO SWALLOW
JCP001: you’re out of your mind.
SaulGood: Possibly
JCP001: karen o’s working her best siouxsie on some of these songs.
SaulGood: That is true, my good friend
JCP001: oh, I has a blurb

***** START TIM DUFFY BLURB *****

JCP001: have you heard the yeah yeah yeahs ep?
fillmerejive: about half, i think i’m gonna buy it tomorrow
fillmerejive: why do you ask?
JCP001: why, for a blurb of course
fillmerejive: well i think they’re great
fillmerejive: i like what i’ve heard a bunch and they have staying power which is why i am willing to part with actual money and buy the cd
JCP001: you buy cds?
JCP001: i’m not scoffing at the buying, more the cds
fillmerejive: yes
fillmerejive: i like cd’s
fillmerejive: i like things
fillmerejive: i like to own product
JCP001: i like stuff and… junk
fillmerejive: exactly
JCP001: do you rip it?
fillmerejive: but i think the ep from the three tracks i’ve heard is a good between point for the more melodic and the more rawking sides of yyy’s
fillmerejive: i do unless i have a good downloaded copy already
JCP001: interesting
JCP001: i’m all about the digital. i’m trying to minimize my junk clutter
fillmerejive: that’s wise
fillmerejive: i have a disaster in my closet, all cd’s in unorderly stacks
fillmerejive: nerds cringe at the site
fillmerejive: several friends have begged me to let them organize them
JCP001: i’d understand if it was vinyl
fillmerejive: i guess, i’m very into voting with my dollar
fillmerejive: it’s an important thing to me, i want the things i like to continue to come out
fillmerejive: i also have no turntable
fillmerejive: my parents do, but i really hate the idea of being beholden to them
JCP001: that’s very righteous of you
fillmerejive: ooh also on the yyy’s you should note that i believe nick zinner might be the most inventive pseudo mainstream guitarist in decades
JCP001: in a bill and ted’s way
fillmerejive: it is indeed, i hate watching bootlegs even when they’re really good quality and i didn’t pay for them
fillmerejive: i went to see sicko in theaters after watching it on bootleg
JCP001: blurb. yor doin it wrong
fillmerejive: erm, best ep since deerhunter’s flurescent grey a few months back?
fillmerejive: i get excited about that band sorry

***** END TIM DUFFY BLURB *****

JCP001: that’s a bit more than a blurb. i told you he was doin it wrong.
SaulGood: Yeah dude…that’s an opus. I can attest to Mr. Duffy’s statement about Zinner’s guitar work
SaulGood: Though I think his hair outshines his finger styleez
JCP001: anyway, I think this is right up anyone’s alley who likes yeah yeah yeahs
SaulGood: agreed. Just not my cuppa
JCP001: i’m surprised he doesn’t break the guitar strings with his scissorhands
SaulGood: I want progression
SaulGood: He should start his own hair product line
SaulGood: Something like…DO DO DOs
JCP001: there has been progression but i think yor doin it wrong
SaulGood: Flat out, this ep bored the snot out of me
SaulGood: Scissorhands is a great guitar player, the drummer is the king and Karen O is a hot vocalist so why the long repetitive nonsense?
SaulGood: I’m opinionated tonight
JCP001: you are. your ballz dropped
SaulGood: My ballz…they are in your mouthz
JCP001: i’m tired of us liking everything
SaulGood: You’re doin it wrong
JCP001: you just did it wrong. rate?
SaulGood: 3
SaulGood: You?
JCP001: 5. a finger each song. Don’t wanna break my streak. If this were NBA Jam I’d be ON FIRE. They should have just recorded 5-7 more songs and made an album
SaulGood: Fag
JCP001: say it to my scruffy face
JCP001: we’re done here
SaulGood: Fag
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OneLastCigarette: im watching entourage at 10, son
OneLastCigarette: im psyched. my computer is in the shop so i have to find a friend who actually pays for hbo when this shit is on
OneLastCigarette: are your internets still broken?
JCP001: i ams operayshunal
OneLastCigarette: i just ate chinese food. my brain is numb.
JCP001: was it as delicious as you anticipated?
JCP001: it’s the msg. makes you dumb. like eating lead paint
OneLastCigarette: i tried to order small sesame chicken, but apparently they only have one size. the girl was like “yor doin it wrong”
OneLastCigarette: i got fried vegetable dumplings and chicken w/brocolli
JCP001: awesome. food coma
JCP001: i had pasta.
OneLastCigarette: did you and paul eat together like two fags
JCP001: no jerkoff. had dinner with dnice.
OneLastCigarette: oh thats right
JCP001: he’s high and watching john from cincinatti, eating chy-knee
OneLastCigarette: i havent seen that yet…whats chy-knee
JCP001: chinese
OneLastCigarette: that chinese place near you is top notch 2nd rate
JCP001: i would like to say nathan’s destroyed my insides
OneLastCigarette: nathans was fucking awesome.
JCP001: it was definitely a highlight, minus the dizziness and nausea on my part
JCP001: monkey-man had too much fun at once
OneLastCigarette: yeah. whens the last time you had a pregnancy test
OneLastCigarette: light-headedness
JCP001: normally that’s a good time too
JCP001: i now officially like every song on this against me record
OneLastCigarette: i could do without the second to last track, but i still like it enough
JCP001: nah, i’m down with the dirty rock song
OneLastCigarette: this is a review of NEW WAVE by AGAINST ME!
JCP001: or AGAINST ME NEW WAVE
OneLastCigarette: thrash unreal is fucking huge
OneLastCigarette: and the bop bops are insane
OneLastCigarette: im gonna go watch that video from conan
JCP001: it’s great
JCP001: find it?
OneLastCigarette: too hard. where is it
OneLastCigarette: if its from nbc its all hidden
JCP001: just google against me thrash unreal
OneLastCigarette: you has hacks
OneLastCigarette: oh its on a cheap ass youtube rip off
JCP001: i was googling lyrics.
OneLastCigarette: tom gable doesnt look like he has this voice
OneLastCigarette: this voice belongs to a man more similar to a lumberjack
JCP001: i would like to thank all the pirates who get the record weeks in advance then painstakingly transcribe the lyrics… almost right
OneLastCigarette: these layered vocals are pretty huge. they did well in displaying this songs sheer hugeness live on stage
OneLastCigarette: i didnt know it would work this well
JCP001: they really did reproduce nicely
OneLastCigarette: “there aint no johnny comin home to share a bed with her and she doesnt care”
JCP001: it’s huge
OneLastCigarette: “no mother ever dreamed that her daughter’ed grow up to be a junkie!”
JCP001: considering i didn’t like some of their previous stuff
JCP001: i think the kids who were living above me at the time ruined them. they would blast them and howl along while wrestling at 1 am.
OneLastCigarette: the only record of theirs i like more than this one is …As The Eternal Cowboy. one of my favorites of ever
OneLastCigarette: you sure they werent pokin’?
JCP001: totally.
OneLastCigarette: we have to take an entourage break, yo.
JCP001: do it
JCP001: hit me back
OneLastCigarette: back in 45
JCP001: go

45 minutes later…

OneLastCigarette: the cops rolled through while we were smoking
JCP001: did you smoke army style?
JCP001: weed. yor doin it wrong
OneLastCigarette: nah. they built scaffolding by tech and there are these construction trailers. we were there
JCP001: ooh living dangerously
OneLastCigarette: yeah anyway
OneLastCigarette: im not too into the song stop! either
JCP001: it actually grew on me. reminds me of a yeah yeah yeahs song. honeybear
JCP001: almost
OneLastCigarette: you have an exclamation point in your name and you put one in a song title too
JCP001: they wrap, honest, upfront lyrics you don’t have to decipher in pop rock goodness
OneLastCigarette: when you told me the girl on born of the fm waves of the heart was one of these twins i didnt know you were talking about tegan & sara. theyre twin lesbians apparently
JCP001: oh and their new record is also on sire
OneLastCigarette: this is pop music you can like without feeling guilty. if there was a market for it i bet they could make some pretty awesome songs
JCP001: they mention MRR which i think is funny
OneLastCigarette: whats that? modern rock radio?
JCP001: maximum rock and roll
JCP001: punk music zine. didn’t even know it was still around
OneLastCigarette: i was stumped there
OneLastCigarette: i know what it is
OneLastCigarette: some big punk zine just went under
OneLastCigarette: punk planet
JCP001: i’m not surprised.
OneLastCigarette: Main Page – ZineWiki – the history and culture of zines …
Punk Planet was a 16000 print run punk zine, based in Chicago, IL, … that after 13 years and 80 issues, Punk Planet’s final issue was being sent out. …
OneLastCigarette: straight from the front page of google. i dont even feel like clicking the link
JCP001: google gets only the best in breaking news
JCP001: “punk zine goes under. 5 punks sad”
JCP001: negative ink was in punk planet. issue 13 or something. i might still have it
JCP001: i give them credit for sticking it out that long.
OneLastCigarette: best songs on this album, in order of appearance: up the cuts, thrash unreal, white people for peace, born on the fm waves, americans abroad, and the ocean.
JCP001: what did spin call this record?
OneLastCigarette: rock record of the year
OneLastCigarette: you wanna break out those tim duffy blurbs?
JCP001: yes. yes, i do. he’s missing the best rock record of the year.
JCP001: the year isn’t over. and it is a straight up rock record
OneLastCigarette: im gonna eat my fourth rice crispy treat

***** START TIM DUFFY BLURB *****

OneLastCigarette: i need your thoughts on the latest against me! record
fillmerejive: i have not heard it
OneLastCigarette: you saw them live, you must have seen some new songs
OneLastCigarette: what did you think of that
fillmerejive: i think that i felt like an asshole cause everybody loved them and i was totally indifferent
fillmerejive: so i felt like a snooty jerk
fillmerejive: spin says it’s the “best rock record of the year” too bad they are totally not credible
OneLastCigarette: what kind of crowd was it? just sweaty punk kids or a mix
OneLastCigarette: yeah thats a kiss of death if i ever heard one. spin is terrible
fillmerejive: it was cursive and mastodon playing on either side of against me! so it was a very mixed crowd, old metal guys, emo kids and punk kids plus a more generalized rock audience that probably listen to Foo Fighters as much as they listen to White Stripes and Green Day
OneLastCigarette: i dont get the whole mastadon thing
fillmerejive: i love them
OneLastCigarette: but im convinced that im missing something
OneLastCigarette: cant wait til siren
fillmerejive: well you lack that really nerdy rock guy gene, i have it in spades

***** END TIM DUFFY BLURB *****

OneLastCigarette: yor doin it wrong
OneLastCigarette: i guess ill give this a 4
JCP001: o rly?
OneLastCigarette: ya rly
JCP001: top marks. 5.
OneLastCigarette: you give everything a five
JCP001: i’m the siskel to your ebert
JCP001: we didn’t talk about the video for white people for peace
OneLastCigarette: i like the wrestling moves
OneLastCigarette: what more is there to talk about
OneLastCigarette: im surprised they got such a big video budget
JCP001: float over DDT
JCP001: yeah. huge. football field. that shit was ‘spensive
OneLastCigarette: you just wanted to say float over ddt
JCP001: i did
JCP001: rly bad
OneLastCigarette: and paying all those shitty amateur wrestlers to “professionally perform” the double team neck breaker moves
JCP001: with dudley boys-like precision
JCP001: if there were tables involved it would have upped it
OneLastCigarette: i wish i had those cheese bacon fries from nathans right now
OneLastCigarette: with the little red stick
JCP001: siren fest experience. an ocean of sloppy tits
OneLastCigarette: and tattooed fat
JCP001: they really have no idea
JCP001: but at least we are scientists were good and the beach time
JCP001: it was like my commute but with shirtless hipsters
OneLastCigarette: you mean when we covertly smoked pot around hundreds of families
OneLastCigarette: that beach time
JCP001: yes. gi joe style
OneLastCigarette: if jack bauer smoked pot, thats how he would do it
OneLastCigarette: in a fox hole
JCP001: he’s got black suvs to cruise around in with his boys. he could blow it out while on his way to set up a perimeter
JCP001: perhaps the foxholes in the chinese prision. what happens in chinese prisions, stays in chinese prisions
OneLastCigarette: we are scientists slowed down the first couple of songs off the last album
OneLastCigarette: and they played a few seemingly new songs
OneLastCigarette: which were all good
JCP001: and the sound was stable. i would have liked to have seen the noisettes but wasn’t too keen on having to elbow my way through the crowds
OneLastCigarette: i had never previously heard detroit cobras, but they sounded pretty shitty
JCP001: detroit cobras. yor doin it wrong
JCP001: i really like them, but i dunno wtf that was
OneLastCigarette: i would like to have seen more of cursive, but you rushed me
JCP001: casualty of too many beers and bottled water on the beach
JCP001: it had to go down like that
OneLastCigarette: i didnt know they replaced the cello’s with horns in the old songs too. it sounded ok
OneLastCigarette: what was with that out of control lady with the kid in nathans
JCP001: people are gross
JCP001: bottom line
OneLastCigarette: feels like both of these reviews suck
JCP001: they do.
OneLastCigarette: not like we’re gonna get fired
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JCP001: procrastination cat procrastinates
FlavorCage77: hold on…
8:50 PM
FlavorCage77: brb
FlavorCage77: going to get smokes
JCP001: delicious. go forth my son and procure smokes
9:00 PM
FlavorCage77: You ready to do this or you have to do some duece droppin?
JCP001: oh, you’re back.
FlavorCage77: Yeah
FlavorCage77: On the SK
FlavorCage77: My internets just crapped out, sirs.
JCP001: welcome to my world. good thing you have back-up
FlavorCage77: Yeah…
FlavorCage77: You know what dogs I want to see more of? Puggles.
JCP001: do you?
FlavorCage77: Hell yes
JCP001: they grew on me
FlavorCage77: Yes
JCP001: i used to think they were horrible amalgamations
FlavorCage77: I think they’re strange and have a certain stupidity to them that makes them a bit endearing
FlavorCage77: Once you start cross breeding the brains get smaller
FlavorCage77: Or dumber
FlavorCage77: Cute little things, tho.
JCP001: does it work the same for humans?
FlavorCage77: Only if you breed an ape with a man.
FlavorCage77: that’s like “Shit, meet fan.”
JCP001: i think i ride the train with the ape-human hybrids
FlavorCage77: Yes you do…and they all listen to German techno REALLY LOUD.
JCP001: BAD RELIGION NEW MAPS OF HELL
JCP001: that means we can start
JCP001: once the title drops, it’s on
FlavorCage77: Ok…so FUCK YES comes to mind when listening to this
FlavorCage77: This record is a hybrid of a rottweiller and a german pincher
FlavorCage77: Me thinks
FlavorCage77: It’s finger pointingly awesome
JCP001: I was telling Lenny that this came at a good time for me
FlavorCage77: And at 38 minutes, there’s no room to be bored
FlavorCage77: Splain
JCP001: I’ve been on a BR kick. great for the gym
FlavorCage77: Really? Last time I hung out with you, you told me that ABBA has been on repeat
FlavorCage77: Kidding
JCP001: I’m glad this is no “The New America”. that record kinda blows
JCP001: how well versed are you in BR?
FlavorCage77: This record came at a great time for the world. His lyrics are so politically driven.
FlavorCage77: Not that well
FlavorCage77: Not as well as you
FlavorCage77: Joey Cingrana and I would listen to them in his attic all the time
JCP001: political, social. Graffin sings every word with conviction like he’s preaching. or teaching. he is a college professor, you know.
FlavorCage77: What makes the album so great is that each song is EPIC
JCP001: pretty much, yeah
FlavorCage77: Like… HUGE
JCP001: there’s always been something grand about BR for me.
FlavorCage77: standout track: SUBMISSION COMPLETE. It has a middle easternesque vibe
FlavorCage77: Especially the solo
FlavorCage77: And lets not forget the AWESOME harmonies
JCP001: the back-up punk choir. just the imagery the lyrics conjure overall is grand
FlavorCage77: Totally
JCP001: kings, empires falling, planets colliding, biblical references…
FlavorCage77: They’re the only band that can pull off a double bass drum without sounding like they just sprayed they’re hair with Tommy Lee brand hairspray
FlavorCage77: Or without sounding like bad nu metal
JCP001: they have 3 guitarists
JCP001: lead, rhythm and pick slide
JCP001: mostly you can’t tell since they all play the same 3 chords
FlavorCage77: I think John Lennon would love them if he were alive to hear it.
FlavorCage77: Oh…and the piano on FIELDS OF MARS….
FlavorCage77: I did not see that coming
JCP001: they’re not changing their formula though.
FlavorCage77: No…but they mastered their formula
FlavorCage77: They’ve gone the same route but it suits them.
FlavorCage77: And it gets me PSYCHED
FlavorCage77: The opening to NEW DARK AGES…it’s almost beautiful.
JCP001: psyched and confused. i googled the lyrics and had to look up a few words. punk rock that sharpens your mind
JCP001: and annoys the neighbors
FlavorCage77: That should be on the back of their t shirts, you genius.
FlavorCage77: I really have nothing bad to say about this record.
FlavorCage77: Should we talk about another album that blows?
JCP001: they already have the best band symbol ever
JCP001: i was hoping you’d bite at my pick slide jokes
FlavorCage77: That was pretty good…there’s a pick slide in like every song
JCP001: 2 sometimes
JCP001: together
FlavorCage77: They should have dueling pick slide solos.
FlavorCage77: Imagine how annoying that would be?
FlavorCage77: Dogs would die
FlavorCage77: But not the puggles .
FlavorCage77: They’d survive the great pick slide disaster of 2007 and rule the world with BAD RELIGION.
JCP001: their tiny brains wouldn’t know how to respond
FlavorCage77: They’d just start licking each others balls more
JCP001: maybe they scored cool satanic guitars when they explored and mapped hell
FlavorCage77: This is one theory
JCP001: a fine theory
FlavorCage77: What would satan have said to them?
FlavorCage77: Go forth and bring the pointed finger?
FlavorCage77: Millions of puggles at a BR show lifting their paws to the sky
JCP001: your backing vocals, may your choir of 6 sound like 60 strong
JCP001: did you see a puggle at the deli?
FlavorCage77: The fat one?
FlavorCage77: If so…yes
FlavorCage77: I think he had a BR tattoo
FlavorCage77: And he was practicing his string slides
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JCP001:5stars.jpg FlavorCage77:5stars.jpg

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Originally, this review was supposed to have been done between myself and Lenny. Due to technical difficulties (see: lack of internets) on both our parts it, sadly, wasn’t meant to be. Below is unfinished “review” or outtake, if you will. – JCP001

OneLastCigarette: just got home
JCP001: listen to the fathers of socal punk rock
OneLastCigarette: ill put it on
OneLastCigarette: yo i had a BONKERS connection before 675 kbps
OneLastCigarette: …and in other awesomeness
OneLastCigarette: i realized my sister has the new zelda
OneLastCigarette: goodbye daylight
JCP001: wii zelda?
OneLastCigarette: yeah
OneLastCigarette: but on gamecube
OneLastCigarette: same exact game
OneLastCigarette: just clashed with the wii release
JCP001: the wii turns grown men into prancing gaylords
OneLastCigarette: yeah totally
OneLastCigarette: i waited at the nintendo store in the freezing cold with andrew for it
JCP001: and you didn’t have to pee your pants
OneLastCigarette: it was a pretty relaxed atmosphere
OneLastCigarette: i’ll knock out a little kid
JCP001: me too
OneLastCigarette: no qualms
OneLastCigarette: there was this one big mongo dude and he kept trying to wifi ds with little kids
OneLastCigarette: im talking 24 yr old very special place type dude
JCP001: perv
OneLastCigarette: no i felt bad for him
OneLastCigarette: he was genuinely childlike
OneLastCigarette: aside from when he penetrated their little anai like pressboard
OneLastCigarette: anai sounds ten times worse than anuses
JCP001: anuses sounds like a great greek hero
OneLastCigarette: i wish this was the review
JCP001: if we do the review tonight it can be, lenny. It can be.
OneLastCigarette: what is a SIT file
OneLastCigarette: its a blank file for me
OneLastCigarette: open with winzip?
JCP001: yes
OneLastCigarette: ok
OneLastCigarette: its only giving me an option to ZIP this file
OneLastCigarette: wtf dude…
JCP001: aww
JCP001: one sec
OneLastCigarette: several secs later…
OneLastCigarette: just aim it over
OneLastCigarette: your server is mad booty
JCP001: going to
OneLastCigarette: it should send super fast if i plug it into the wall
OneLastCigarette: hold on
JCP001: plug it in son
OneLastCigarette: ran out of tp, don’t use my dermalogica whipes
OneLastCigarette: you do the math
OneLastCigarette: hold on
JCP001: crikey
OneLastCigarette: leaves your crack silky smooth with no blemishes or dead skin
JCP001: ready?
OneLastCigarette: as ill ever be
OneLastCigarette: fast as shit
JCP001: did you get it all?
OneLastCigarette: no
OneLastCigarette: says 95
OneLastCigarette: almost done
OneLastCigarette: you have a fucking status bar right
JCP001: yeah
JCP001: thought i accidentally canceled it
OneLastCigarette: everybody is a bastard
JCP001: it’s true
JCP001: that has a big part
JCP001: this record came at a good time for me
OneLastCigarette: why? are you starting a revolution
OneLastCigarette: i love that i turn around, do half a thing in zelda and the records half over
OneLastCigarette: 16 songs, 38.4 minutes, 36.9 mb
JCP001: that’s about average for a br record
OneLastCigarette: can you excuse me while i use my hawk to snatch this baby basket from a dancing monkey so i can get my god damn fishing pole, lure back the shop ladies cat and make her happy enough to give me the new slingshot
JCP001: you make it sound cool. but it’s not. i’ve seen paul play
JCP001: it’s quite gay
OneLastCigarette: it starts off slow
OneLastCigarette: its awesome
OneLastCigarette: youre just a final fantasy fag
JCP001: herd those sheep…. things
OneLastCigarette: thats like the first thing
OneLastCigarette: go check paul’s steez now. he has a black tunic and some sick fucking sword skills soon i bet
JCP001: know what–listen more and play. call your gay hawk friend maybe he can snatch someone elses balls and give them to you
OneLastCigarette: scum bag
OneLastCigarette: not a kind word
JCP001: c’mon, you laughed a little
OneLastCigarette: of course i laughed
OneLastCigarette: thats why we keep you around
OneLastCigarette: amusing abuse
OneLastCigarette: whatever i got the basket
JCP001: are there cojones in there?
JCP001: when you’re done catching rainbows in fairyland, IM me